The trouble with flibbles…
by kirayasha aka kira
Summary: A Klingon warrior adopts a flibble as a pet… Star Trek Spoof, starring the B07


Title: The trouble with flibbles…

Author: kira

fandom: Inuyasha  
rating: T

warnings: Crack!

Genre: Spoof, Parody

Word count: 1210

Summary: A Klingon warrior adopts a flibble as a pet…

_Author's note: Thanks go out again to my darling beta, Jen, for all her help in pinking this for me. Thanks also go to Hime-sama for her behind the scenes cheerleading and also for letting me play in her universe. And special thanks go out to the late Gene Roddenberry for creating Star Trek, Takahashi-sensei for creating the Bo7, and David Gerrold for writing one of the best Trek Episodes ever, "The Trouble with Tribbles" which this lil fic lampoons…_

888

Sitting at a table in the bar on the space station K9, the Klingon, known as Jakotsu, watched with feigned indifference as a fat human male flirted with some human woman from the Feudal Fleet's flagship, the _Kazaa._ Jakotsu could care less about the humans, what caught the young Klingon's eye was the adorable ball of fluff they were playing with. He _wanted, _no_, needed_ that cute little thing like his bald superior officer, Renkotsu, needed a hair transplant. So while his companions were voicing their disgust over the little fur ball, Jakotsu was secretly holding in his sighs along with his killer jealousy over that stupid Feudal Fleet woman, who was busy playing with it.

"It's called a 'flibble,'" the man said just loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear.

_A flibble… How cute! _Jakotsu sighed.

"EWWWW!!" the Feudal Fleet officer cried. "It peed on me!!" She chucked the little ball of fur over her shoulder like a drunken bride tossing her bouquet. As luck would have it, Jakotsu caught it.

"KAWAII!!" he cried, using the Klingon term of affection, which was also used as a euphemism for going to the bathroom, while holding the shrieking ball of fur close to his face.

"You need to find the restroom?" Renkotsu asked, hoping Jakotsu would ask him to come with so he could help flush the little furry menace down the head.

"No…" Jakotsu murmured, rubbing his cheek against the slightly damp fur, as the flibble continue to shriek like a car alarm on busy city street in a nasty neighborhood.

"A pity… I was hoping you'd flush it and put us out of our misery," Renkotsu dryly replied.

Shooting his fellow officer a dirty look, Jakotsu turned to his captain and lover, plastering the sweetest, most loving look he could come with on his face. "Can I keep it? Please…?"

"Well, uh…" Commander Bankotsu started to say, and unable to resist that look, he said, "Oh hell! If you can keep it quiet, Jakotsu, it stays, if not…" He grinned as he doubted his lover would be able to do it.

"Oh good…" His second-in-command, Renkotsu nodded; as he had also the feeling nothing short of death would shut it up.

Unfortunately for them, Jakotsu succeeding in finding the one thing that shut the flibble up: food. He was happily stuffing the little bundle of fur full of the expensive Rysian chocolates he had swiped off of Renkotsu's plate.

"HEY!!"

"Well, he did shut the hairball up, amazing..." their ship's doctor, Suikotsu, muttered. "Yes, isn't it?" he replied back to himself. "Most definitely!" he replied as he carried on a quiet conversation with himself.

Bankotsu chuckled weakly at his second-in-command. "I guess we found ourselves a new ship's mascot."

Renkotsu silently fumed while his captain hailed the ship as there was no use in starting a barroom brawl now that they had a new pet to look after and its litter of babies.

"Uh, seven, no make that eight, to beam up," Bankotsu said into his communicator. "How many are there again?"

"Ummm… four, no wait!" Jakotsu said as he tried counting them all. "Twenty two… no make that thirty seven…"

"Oh hell… Just beam us up!"

888

The crew of the Klingon ship, _Barrel of Sake, _was soon neck deep in shrieking, hungry little flibbles, thanks to Jakotsu's habit of feeding them anything remotely edible in order to keep them quiet as long as possible. As near as their ship's doctor as well as their science officer, who was also their adopted "mother," could tell, they defecated the next generation upon eating, so Renkotsu's description of them being "furry lil shits" was extremely accurate.

The trouble was Jakotsu was very devoted to keeping them well fed ever since he was warned by Renkotsu that the minute they started shrieking again and gave him a headache, they were being stuffed into and jettisoned from the nearest airlock as fast Klingonly possible.

However, all good things must come to an end, and Jakotsu's love affair with the flibbles was soon taking a fast trip to Reno for a quickie divorce. When Bankotsu declared that he could not in any way, shape or form nookie on a bed full of the fur balls, Jakotsu had to admit, that maybe, just MAYBE, he had a few too many of the "lil darlings." And since storing them in Renkotsu's room was no longer an option, he had to find a way to find them homes and fast, since they were on their way back to the Klingon home world.

So as luck would have it, they found themselves traveling within a hundred and seventy five thousand parsecs of a small black hole that was in the process of collapsing in on itself. Unfortunately for Jakotsu, his superior officer, Renkotsu, was standing behind him, waiting to play the latest version of the Rigelian dating sim game the science officer had just downloaded onto his computer, when they discovered it.

"Is that a quantum singularity or a black hole?" Renkotsu asked.

"Uh, aren't they the same thing?"

"Yes… it just depends on who's writing the script, why?"

"Oh…" Jakotsu giggled; relieved he actually got away with not knowing the difference, having failed quantum physics due to sleeping in with Bankotsu while attending the Klingon military academy. It was only a generous bribe by his father that kept him not only in school, but got him a berth on the same ship as his lover.

Renkotsu, having figured it out, seized on that little fact with both hands and two feet. "In fact, I believe this one's a worm hole leading straight to the flibbles' home world, where they'll live out their lives happy and free and can eat all the chocolate they can want and then some." He smiled.

"Yeah?" Jakotsu's face lit up like the Vegas Strip at night.

"Yup," Renkotsu drawled. He flipped a switch, opening a comm-link to the entire ship. "Attention all crew members, proceed to stuff all flibbles into the nearest airlock. We are sending the little bast- I mean darlings home. Renkotsu, out!" He quickly killed the link, before Jakotsu heard the sound of his fellow crewmembers cheering.

Everything went smoothly, according to Renkotsu's improvised plan. Even Commander Bankotsu gave it a "two thumbs up." And it looked like it was succeeding too, until Jakotsu paused the game he was playing to look up at the main screen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" he wailed upon spotting hundreds of thousands of little fur balls floating in space until they were sucked up into the black hole like dust-bunnies in a Hoover vacuum cleaner.

888

The crew of the _USS Kazaa_ braced themselves as their ship rocked like a toy boat in a bathtub with an over excited two year old. Lieutenant Sango Uhura ripped her earpiece from her ear, throwing it to the floor. Eyes wide, she shook her head to clear it.

"Lieutenant?" Captain Miroku Kirk asked.

"Sorry, sir," she said, regaining her composure. "That sounded remarkably like someone wailing in the vacuum of space."

"Really?" Kirk replied, turning to his first officer.

Sesshomaru raised a delicate eyebrow. "Fascinating…" he deadpanned, "I always thought that in space, no one can hear you scream…"


End file.
